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Navigating Through the Journey of Grief

Mari Alschuler, LISW-S
Insight Clinical Counseling and Wellness

Ten months ago, my mother got suddenly, terminally ill and passed away six days later. Thankfully we were all with her in the hospital. Four months later, my uncle died by suicide in Mexico. Traveling to Mexico to get my uncle’s affairs in order and his body released for burial gave me concrete tasks and little time to grieve. After mom’s death, my brother began the arduous work of relinquishing her belongings; together with the rest of our family, we mourned our deep loss.

Grief has been a daily companion. As someone who manages depression, the intensity of the emotions, bouts of sobbing, and relentless replaying of memories are quite different from normal sadness or even clinical depression. The National Hospice Cooperative reminds us that “in the early days of grieving, some depressive symptoms are certainly present and normal. However, going forward, significant depression, exhibited in ways such as an inability to experience pleasure, not wanting to be consoled, or thoughts of wanting to end your life, is not typically found in grieving people.”

There is no timeline for grief, despite what psychiatric manuals would have you believe. There are few days when thoughts about her aren’t present. And yet I find moments of pleasure—herbs flourishing in my garden, the tender touch of my cat, sunsets, picnics—can give some relief from suffering, which is our human fate. Letting yourself be lifted by a song or poem, prayer, being in nature, or traveling, helps a great deal as grief sifts through you like sand in a glass of many hours. Where do you find peace and harmony?

Having a companion along the journey of grief is important. You are not alone. This companion may be a pet, a friend, a therapist, journaling, scripture, or nature. Consider joining a grief support group. Houses of worship often offer grief support groups. Jewish Family and Community Services (JFCS) in Youngstown, OH offers a free monthly grief support group at the local Jewish Community Center (JCC), which serves all people. Other websites providing resources related to grief include:

https://www.griefshare.org

https://www.healgrief.org/grief-support-resources

https://helpguide.org/mental-health/grief/

https://aarp.org/managing/grief

If you are experiencing grief and would like to talk to someone, Insight is always here to help.

Call Insight Clinical Counseling & Wellness, at (330) 397-6007.